Stop Selling Yourself on Social Media (At Least Not Right Away)
Key Takeaways:
Building genuine relationships beats aggressive self-promotion every time
Social media is a long-term game for real estate agents—not a one-time listing ad
Use a 4-step content strategy: Introduction → Warm-up → Nurture → Seal the Deal
Talk about things your audience actually cares about (before they care about real estate)
Tools like The Agent Toolkit help agents streamline this approach with plug-and-play content
You’ve seen it before: “Hi, I’m Jane Doe! I’m a Realtor® serving [City Name]—DM me if you’re looking to buy or sell!” While there's nothing inherently wrong with introducing yourself or your services, doing it too soon can backfire.
Why?
Because most people on Instagram aren't there to shop for agents. They're there to unwind, get inspired, laugh a little, and connect with things that feel relatable.
That’s why the best-performing real estate agents don’t treat their Instagram like a billboard. They treat it like a coffee shop conversation.
They lead with connection, not commission.
Why Relationship-Building Wins on Social
If someone doesn't know, like, and trust you yet, jumping straight into “here’s what I do” feels transactional—and honestly, kind of desperate.
Instead, think about social media the same way you think about networking in real life.
If you walked into a room of strangers and immediately said “Hi! I’m a real estate agent. Are you looking to buy a house?”—you’d probably get some weird looks.
But if you started with small talk, talked about local events, swapped stories about your weekend, and found common ground… then someone might ask what you do for a living.
That’s when you can mention real estate—and it feels natural.
Social Media = Your Digital Neighborhood
Here’s the shift: Social media is not just for advertising listings. It’s for creating community.
Your content doesn’t just exist to promote—it exists to connect. So before you earn the right to promote a listing, you need to earn attention and trust.
That happens when people feel like they know you. It happens when your content sounds like a real person—not just another real estate commercial.
The 4-Step Content Strategy That Builds Connection (and Converts)
1. Introduction – Spark a Relatable Conversation
Instead of starting with “I’m a local agent,” begin by sharing something that invites engagement.
Example:
“I need a fall coffee recommendation—what’s your go-to seasonal drink?”
“What’s your favorite hidden gem restaurant in [City]?”
“Is it just me, or does this neighborhood give serious Hallmark vibes right now?”
You’re not asking for business. You’re just starting a conversation.
This puts your audience at ease and signals: “I’m here to connect, not just to sell.”
2. Warm-Up – Find Shared Interests
Once people start responding and engaging, build on that momentum. Create content that feels like it belongs in their world—not just yours.
Examples:
Weekend things to do in [City]
A behind-the-scenes look at your favorite fall traditions
Funny or relatable “realtor moments” that show your personality
This stage creates a rhythm and lets your followers see you as more than just an agent—they see you as someone they'd actually like to have a conversation with.
3. Nurture – Consistently Show Up With Value
At this point, your audience is warmed up. They’re watching. Maybe they even comment or reply to your Stories.
Now’s your chance to deepen the relationship by creating helpful or aspirational content tied to your expertise without pitching.
Examples:
Local market insights presented in a conversational tone (“Here’s what I’d tell my cousin if they were thinking of buying this fall…”)
Tips for getting pre-approved without the jargon
Neighborhood spotlights with storytelling captions (not just stats)
You’re giving value. You’re positioning yourself as the guide. You’re earning their trust.
4. Seal the Deal – Softly Introduce What You Offer
Now that you’ve established connection, this is where you earn the right to pitch your services.
But even then, do it with warmth and intentionality.
Examples:
“I’ve had a few people reach out about buying this fall. If you’re even 5% curious, I’m happy to chat. No pressure.”
“Not ready to buy yet? Save this post for when the timing feels right—I’ll still be here.”
“I’ve put together a Fall Buyer’s Guide for anyone dreaming of owning a home in [City]—DM me ‘FALL’ and I’ll send it over!”
At this stage, people are far more open to hearing about what you do—because you’ve already made them feel seen, heard, and understood.
Let’s Talk Content Ideas That Build Relationships
Here are a few prompts to get your wheels turning:
For the Introduction Phase:
“Which pumpkin patch is worth the hype this year?”
“Just got caught in a rainstorm during a showing—what’s your wildest weather moment?”
“Your fall vibe in three emojis. I’ll go first: 🍂☕📚”
For the Warm-Up Phase:
Share a photo dump of your week with a caption like, “Lately…”
Highlight a local event, and ask if anyone’s attending
Share your go-to coffee order or playlist and invite responses
For the Nurture Phase:
“Here’s what I wish more buyers knew before looking at homes this time of year”
“POV: You live in this neighborhood and this is your morning routine”
“Is buying before the holidays actually a good idea? Let’s break it down…”
For the Seal the Deal Phase:
“I just opened up two client spots for October. If you’ve been thinking about moving, let’s talk strategy.”
“Want a custom list of homes that fit your fall wishlist? I’ll send one your way—just shoot me a DM.”
Don’t Rush the Relationship
The goal isn’t to sell your services in every post. It’s to sell yourself as someone who understands your audience. Someone who gets their fears, dreams, hesitations, and everyday life.
When people feel like they know you, the business follows.
So start slow.
Start real.
Start with what makes you human—not just what makes you a real estate agent.
And when you're ready to streamline this entire approach, check out The Agent Toolkit—because building relationships shouldn't take hours of brainstorming.